All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Jen & Saffie - you have email.

Jen, Cat03, 25yrsmlc Thanks for your replies. Plenty to think about.

Cat - Your right about the bed. Thanks for the advice of taking actions and words at face value. I need to keep remembering that. I don't expect a V-card from h or even a meal out, but I am now planning to see girlfriends.

Jen - Your right about my anger, actually your spot on. If I don't speak, he doesn't speak, i feel as if he's maybe a little unsure of himself after the no contact from last week?

Also thanks for the advice about the everyday common sense things - I'll take things back to basics and treat him almost as if i'm getting to know him again, just not assume i know him as well as i thought I did!

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I get the impression that what you are really doing is trying to find a successful tactic in pursuit of your h. But that is not what DBing is about. At least I don't think it is. It's about your own growth, and moving on, and being valued and valuable and loving and loveable, all without NEEDING HIM to want YOU.
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25yrs - I'm trying really hard to just maintain the status quo, to not continue down the cheeseless tunnels, trying a few 180's and generally I feel as if my GAL and PMA have been good, and hopefully h is noticing as people here on the boards suggest that the WAS does. Of course i want to be valued, loved and in an equal partnership, but I need to find a foundation to begin on that is balanced, neither too distant nor too needy. If he doesn't speak, then I don't speak and vice versa, so my 180 is to ignore my old behaviour and speak to him, neither of us like not speaking, resentment then builds up and as i've said before lack of communication and avoiding confrontation was our biggest problem and I don't want that to continue.

The doubt I have in my mind about this whole DB is that I told my xh i didn't love him anymore. I didn't and moved on, so i have my doubts that H will change HIS mind back again?

Love to hear from you all.

Have a great weekend.

Love E x