did make it clear that she could and would do as she pleased with her life in the meantime. Such as dating etc. She said I have no right to ask about it either.
I'm struggling with why she agreed to the 90 days then. How is that different than being divorced? How is this different than when she dropped the bomb? That doesn't say, "I'd like to see where WE go for the next 90 days".
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I don't know if bringing it up on Sunday and saying something to the likes of "I'm not willing to be the OM," or something similar is out of line. I know we aren't emotionally M'ed any longer, but I still consider our voes to be just that, and have a hard time with the fact that she could be doing these things and in the meantime she gets the best of both worlds. Could I stipulate that an acceptance requires exclusivity while we explore this phase? Am I out of line there? What is fair I guess?
Start with a beginner's mind (maybe I'm misusing this phrase, but it still seems appropriate). I know you see yourself as still married, but she doesn't. So, I would think more in terms of someone that you are asking on an initial date. Would you demands exclusivity on your first date? I'd take it slower. If the date goes well and leads to more dates, but she's still seeing other people, you should do what you'd do if the same thing happened with a girl you were first dating. Would you indicate you don't want to see her anymore because you aren't interested in seeing someone that is dating multiple people? I would. It sounds like you feel the same way. I think you need to give her the opportunity to see what dating you can be like so she can determine if exclusively dating you is what she wants.
Okay, that being said, I'm a little worried for you. You've said she's still a partier. What would dates look like with her. Would she want to always go to the bar or party? If it's not possible for her to date you without booze being involved, I'd probably quit seeing her. That may be cart before the horse, but whatever relationship you end up in should respect that you aren't a partier. Right?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
