so LL just needs to stomp her feet and get it all out once in a while...I can't always pretend that the past doesn't bother me..it does...perhaps with time it wont...but for now it does...
some pleasant things..
h has been expressing his stress lately instead of just being grumpy...he's got a lot to get done in a short amount of time with the season begining...
though I think h is happy to just do his own thing..today I was told that he is getting stressed by the fact that he will not be spending as much time with us for the next few weeks while he's busy...says he spent a lot of time with us over the winter (wich he did..not leaving till 10 or 11 and returning by 5 the latest) and he liked it...he misses playing with the kids and hanging out with me...but there's little he can do to change it right now...and honestly he's right..he does run a seasonal business..that's not to say that the whole summer is him busy busy busy, but the spring is hectic...he talked today about feeling overwhelmed and hating this time of year...feeling trapped..spinning...knowing that it does end but hating it while he's in it...I offered to help in anyway I can...I'd join a work crew for him if need be (hell I can use a blower or power broom as well as the guys) or return phone calls (even stated I don't have to be mrs. landscaper but could be "receptionist") anything to take some of the pressure off him..said please don't hesitate to ask...I will help you..that's what I'm here for..h said thankfully ..I know.
so h is stressed with work...I'm trying to be supportive and make home a place of comfort not pressure..h is wanting to be home...I even suggested why don't we plan a night to go out next week before we leave...pick a movie to go to or something just to have something to look forward to...h's response...I look forward to comming home every night. (aint that sweet)
anyway...
there will be days that LL is pissed and feeling down about the a..LL will throw a parade when ow moves away...there will be good days and bad...there will be ups and downs..h may not always say the words..but heck..h just walked over and hugged me thanking me for making his dinner (all I did was heat up some left over homeade soup and chicken quesadila's) so h does listen.
I just wish this didn't have to happen..or rather if it had to happen I wish there were no ow involved in it just makes things harder on me at times...but I think-scratch that- I KNOW I'll be ok!! ok scratch that too...I know WE'LL be ok!!