Well.... I can fully sympathise with this. While you were away and not in contact with H you probably felt more like " yourself" and it gave you a break from all the pressure. It's draining to DB.
But.... don't give in to your anger. It's perfectly understandable to feel this way, but just because people feel certain feelings doesn't mena they have to give them lots of attention or act on them. Don't let your anger unfluence you. IMO your txt to H was spot on.
Yes if he'd "thought rationally" he might have realised you had a bit of a holiday comedown but he's not a mind reader and the liklihood of him thinking rationally right now? Forget it! I found in my sitch the simplest, most common sense things had to be spelt out in a way that now that things are settled I don't have to do anymore. It felt weird at the time but it worked.
As for the V-card, many here have a good tactic - buy one to keep on hand for if your H gives you one. If you do need to give it to him, keep the message the kind of one you'd give to a good friend.
But most of all don't give in to your anger - I did. I had my first bomb in Sept 2005, H moved out etc, came back in Nov. I got angery around Feb 06, let rip on him and guess what? At the end of March I got another ILYBINILWY speech, and H didn't want to stay married. This is when I found DB/DR and started working really hard.
Final bit - this might help, it's the Dalai Lama on Compassion. When I am having a tough time with H, or with anyone really, I tend to remember compassion. Hard to appy but worthwhile
