i'm tired of going out of my way to make h happy, to let him know I care...to let him know we care...I am not in a good mood at all...infact I'm tempted to call ow right now..tell her to get a realtor (she's only using isoldmyhouse.com) and leave the state as soon as possible. I want this woman dead...and part of me wants to kick h in the balls too!!
I don't know if this feeling will ever go away...I hate h for doing this...I hate ow for allowing it...I hate myself for accepting it...hell I don't even know the truth but the more and more I think about it...they were physcial...how friggen stupid to they think I am...
I should not have to just accept oh it's h's busy season so he wont call you...that is crap...he's got a cell phone and it would simply take 2 minutes to call and say hey!! this point...if he does call...I don't intend to answer...I'm too pissed off and he will know..it's all I can do right now to not call ow and yell at her!!!
this sucks!!!!
I think I was better of in the misserable r we had before at least then my h wasn't having an a, hadn't left for divorce...now all those little problems that were so very fixable are still there and yes being worked on but there is this HUGE issue of his affair that he doesn't even see...doesn't understand how it makes me feel...is defensive when I'm insecure about it...doesn't give any clarification on it..simply says...there's nothing more to say.. oh ya and a recent wording....if I did sleep with her...how would that make you feel better??? I didn't but how would it make you feel better??
thing is it wouldn't make me feel better to know he had...but would make me feel better to know that he could tell me the truth about it.
I'm feeling like a used...idiot and I don't like it!!!
