Hey..LL have not posted to you in a long time...sounds like things are going pretty good..I like Bobs idea..just ask h for a little "something"!! I know how it feels to be rejected though...that is worse then not getting any.
Are you doing the trip with family or just you and kids? Too bad the timing is wrong for h to join you...you guys need a change of scenery...but if he's ok and you are with just you going..then enjoy it to the fullest.YOU need a change of scenery.
why is a good day followed by a not so good one??? it could simply be that h is busy..distracted with work etc..but h is now leaving early (as he should) for work...some mornings he calls and some he doesn't...he left just before 7 it is now almost 1 and we have not heard from him today...you'd think he would have at least called to see if the pile of driveway fill had been dropped off at 9...but nope...no call from h...no call to say hello to the kids...no call to say hello to me...should I be bothered...probably not..but I am. sorta negates yesterdays offering.
I suppose eventually h will call...may not be until he is on his way home..but then again he let me know last night..that he has a 6 o'clock appointment so he will be late...ugh!!!
I'm actually glad the kids and I will be going away...and I hate to admit it...but I am not depressed about it at all..I am not sitting thinking...oh how I will miss h...how I will miss sitting on the couch watching fox news and falling asleep...I'm looking forward to being away...enjoying my time..and not worrying about what h is thinking or feeling or if he's happy or whatever.
Quote: I'm actually glad the kids and I will be going away...and I to admit it...but I am not depressed about it at all..I am not sitting thinking...oh how I will miss h...how I will miss sitting on the couch watching fox news and falling asleep...I'm looking forward to being away...enjoying my time..and not worrying about what h is thinking or feeling or if he's happy or whatever.
LL - if I were in your shoes, I would not be depressed or concerned either. You really need this time physically away from H. But I would really try to phone him every day to let him know how you and the kids are doing in FL. That's something I would do without fail when I had to be out of town from W - even before the kids were born.
i'm tired of going out of my way to make h happy, to let him know I care...to let him know we care...I am not in a good mood at all...infact I'm tempted to call ow right now..tell her to get a realtor (she's only using isoldmyhouse.com) and leave the state as soon as possible. I want this woman dead...and part of me wants to kick h in the balls too!!
I don't know if this feeling will ever go away...I hate h for doing this...I hate ow for allowing it...I hate myself for accepting it...hell I don't even know the truth but the more and more I think about it...they were physcial...how friggen stupid to they think I am...
I should not have to just accept oh it's h's busy season so he wont call you...that is crap...he's got a cell phone and it would simply take 2 minutes to call and say hey!! this point...if he does call...I don't intend to answer...I'm too pissed off and he will know..it's all I can do right now to not call ow and yell at her!!!
this sucks!!!!
I think I was better of in the misserable r we had before at least then my h wasn't having an a, hadn't left for divorce...now all those little problems that were so very fixable are still there and yes being worked on but there is this HUGE issue of his affair that he doesn't even see...doesn't understand how it makes me feel...is defensive when I'm insecure about it...doesn't give any clarification on it..simply says...there's nothing more to say.. oh ya and a recent wording....if I did sleep with her...how would that make you feel better??? I didn't but how would it make you feel better??
thing is it wouldn't make me feel better to know he had...but would make me feel better to know that he could tell me the truth about it.
I'm feeling like a used...idiot and I don't like it!!!
I'm feeling like a used...idiot and I don't like it!!!
That's your problem!!!! Get over it!
Here is the way men think: Those reeces pieces and a hug should keep W happy for a least a week!!!I don't have to do anything like call because she knows I love her! What the hell else does she expect me to do?
H is busy working, and not thinking about W right now!
H decided to come home to you and family. He bought you forsythia bushes. He brought home Reese's pieces. He gave you a hug. He works hard for you.
Slowly he's coming back. I can't say I blame you for wanting more but accept for now what you do get.
I hope I didn't set you off with my comments about OW and wanting to call her H yesterday.
Like you said to me, what difference will it make if you know? Letting your imagination go will only make you feel insecure and that's lousy.
LL, you deserve so much more. You have been a wonderful and forgiving wife. H will eventually see it once he comes out of the fog he's in. It's easy for me to suggest you give him time but I think you'll hit the jackpot if you do.
Quote: H decided to come home to you and family. He bought you forsythia bushes. He brought home Reese's pieces. He gave you a hug. He works hard for you.
I can play ms negative and say that while h was out of the house last summmer he bought me morning glory seeds (another thing I'd like to have in my yard) and still worked hard to pay the bills...so they are of little consolation now. but that would be being negative...I should look and say he did those things then because even though he was leaving and spending time with ow..a part of him was always with me.
Quote: I hope I didn't set you off with my comments about OW and wanting to call her H yesterday.
certainly not dotto, I think of ow plenty enough on my own.
I just don't know what to think about h's a...was it a simple friendship that just got out of control...were they intimate...were they physical...is she better than me...prettier..smarter...ier...etc...
I just don't know what h wants...I don't know what to do with these feelings anymore..
I actually would like to go back to the misserable r we had before...at least then I thought my h was honest...now I don't know what the hell to think of him.
Quote: I just don't know what h wants...I don't know what to do with these feelings anymore..
I've been struggling with the same thing lately. It seems like our Ses' attention comes in waves, and is inconsistent. One day we get X, Y, and Z, then the next day nothing. Why? Hell if I know, but I'm trying to figure it out. Is it me and my insecurities? Is it my W? It's almost like they give a lot one day, tease us with "what could be," then go back to being the way they normally are. I find it frustrating and no matter how many times I tell my W that it's important I get this and it's important that I get that, it doesn't matter...it's on her terms and her terms only.
So why do we torture ourselves, LL? Is their behavior any different than it was three years ago when things were "normal?" Is it us wanting to have something more than what we've ever had, but our Ses are not coming to the party? Perhaps it's a mixture of all of these things. Not only do we have to get over A, but we have to settle for an inferior R until they pull their heads out of their arses and get with the program... Ugh!
I can only hope that over time, with our guidance, that they will come to a place we are. We've had more time to get our head straight. We've read more books, taken more time to apply certain techniques. In a sense, they are babes to what we understand. I think, more than anything, it goes back to patience. Yeah...I know what you're thinking. I'm sick of hearing that too...
There is no way in hell OW is better, smarter or prettier than LL. If you could see her you'd know I speak the truth. And we all know she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside!
