You know, it just dawned on me today, why my soul clinges so much to my H even as I discover he's been lying to me and disregarding my feelings in the worst way. Because we see the outer "shell" of the man we married (the physical part, the lips that kissed us, the arms that held us with love long ago) and we forget that right now, inside that shell there is somebody totally different, this being who only cares for himself and who hurts us. What we want is inside, and that is just not possible until they decide to change and want to be loving Hs.
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So, it's divorce or TN??? Both options sound really sucky!
I'm in the piecing board, but due to recent events i'm contemplating separation, my H has turned toxic to himself and to me. Your H is so toxic is scary, even as you are S he stills barges in and still mistreats you, nothing has changed as long as he tried to reap the benefit of a H (come home to meals, ML, etc). You both need more space, the way it goes now he might've as well never left. Consider going dark, put up boundaries, he needs to learn to respect you.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
