normally I would have called and see if wife wanted one but..... Not today.....
What about with stuff like this, just bring her one instead of calling to see if she wants one. Hand it to her and say "Surprise". That's not pursuing, that's thinking of her as you would a friend.
I am not a male, and I personally think when the W cheats on the H, its a MUCH harder role than being a W of a cheater. You walk that fine line of being a 'man' or being walked on....I get that, and believe it is harder. But, you might (I am NO expert) be taking on this 'tough' love thing a little too much. Maybe pulling it out into areas where it doesn't need to be. Wife likes coffee/tea. If you go, bring her one, if you are there. Wife doesn't want to quit an affair, then you are strong and a brick wall. Make sense? I guess I am saying that your W isn't actively enthralled in an A, in fact she seems to be coming back to you. You don't have to turn off everything to show her you are tough...She might think you don't care one way or another...
