Hi! New here, but my H told me Dec 7th he wants out of our marriage. I was devastated. Got angry at first and then began trying to piece us back together. He moved out of our house Dec 14th and is still gone and convinced our marriage is over and not worth trying to save. He's told me he doubts his love for me and whether or not he ever really loved me. We've been together 7 yrs, married almost 3 of those yrs. I've read the Divorce Remedy and it's like Michelle was in the room when my H told me his reasons for leaving. It sounds just like a MLC, but nothing I say to him seems to bring him back. He just keeps telling me that he's unhappy and trying to follow his heart, that this is what's best for him. When I explain to him that I just want him to try, he tells me that he could come home but he knows he would not put forth the effort it would take and we would end up back in this place months or a yr from now. Last Thursday was the last time I saw him and spoke to him. I've decided after speaking with a coach, that I have to start doing thing differently than I have been b/c the old way is obviously not working in my favor. So, I am trying to not contact him in any way for 2 wks. It's so hard. I want to save my marriage so badly. I love my H with all of my heart and I want to help him thru this. I know that I can't, and that I must let him come to the realization on his own. It's just really hard
I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know what you mean by that devastated feeling. My MLC W left in late Sept. I've only posted a few times but have already gotten some good and encouraging advice. I have also had a couple of coach sessions. This is a great group of people and you will find a lot of support. Reading DR is a great first step. Acceptance that your H has to go thru this on his own is probably next and I know is hard to accept, but it slowly starts sinking in. There are many wise people on this site. You may want to post and read thru other threads under the MLC forum.
I was advised to read the MLC Resources thread at the top of the MLC forum? There is a lot of great info available to help you start DB'ing
Take some deep breaths and take good care of yourself. I will say a prayer for you today.
FMD
Me - 53 W - 50 3 grown children Married 31 years Bomb dropped late september Married - 31 years
I too have been with my H for 7 years (married for almost 5)and think my H could be having a MLC. I don't know. I just know that it is really hard. Hang in there.
Sara s.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I totally know how you feel. My H is having a MLC w/OW. He did and said exactly what you H said. I am new also to this site and DB. I have had 3 DB coaching sessions and I leave feeling empowered in such a powerless situation. I find that crying and screaming in the car or house really helps. Also, find a prayer or verse from something that will lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. Keep your head up and try to stay focused on what you want. I'll keep in touch.
rbjeffrey
Me 52 H 54 Married 12yrs (2nd for both) kids 3 adults(I have 1-H has 2) Bomb 6/26/07 H moved out 9/1 H has OW
There seems to be several Newbies here. I am busy and always feel bad when I post the same basic things to each person, so here is a link to something I wrote last year.
