I finally talked to him tonight and I had no idea just HOW angry he is at her for shutting my dad out of her life for 12 years
okay, I musta missed that whole thing. your gma shut your dad out for 12 years??? now I understand why your dad was hesitant on telling him.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
haha... that IS funny Nik. (about discussion boards for H).
very sorry to hear your sick again. are you taking care of yourself this winter? seems like it's been too soon since the last time. getting enough sleep? I know you've been working pretty hard.
your job sounds really important too. I feel so unintelligent right now!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Michelle Yes, mystery seems to be the key... and it's fun too so that's a nice bonus.
jak I honestly have no idea on the room... you may be right!
Glad you haven't had much to report, that IS a good thing at times.
Yeah, this cold is irritating. It's one of those "not that bad that you're stuck in bed" ones - but then I go to do anything that requires energy and last about 10 minutes.
ST On my gma - yeah, basically after my grandpa died she shut EVERYONE out for about 12 years. That's why I hadn't seen her in so long either. She finally just started talking to any of us about a year ago. It was pretty devastating for my Dad. So.. yeah, I can see why the hesitation - but I know I would have been really upset if I didn't at least have the opportunity to see her like I did at Thanksgiving. I mean, if my bro doesn't want to go, that's totally fine - but let it be HIS choice was my thinking.
I'm actually taking pretty decent care of myself. I feel like I've been sick less.. maybe I'm kidding myself though. I know I'm not getting enough sleep, that's probably what did me in this time. This cold's pretty persistent too - even the people at work who usually escape colds have been getting it.
haha my job is not particularly important in the grand scheme of life, but thanks!! Important to the company anyway and I enjoy it so that's a good thing. The project I'm working on now just suddenly went from "small pilot program" to this really high profile intiative. Partially my "fault" though - I finally had time to dig in and look at the numbers and found out that the program was bringing in a LOT more money than we ever realized or anticipated. A very good thing if you're in marketing and happen to be the project manager! So the success is a good thing, but expanding from "small experiment" to "everyone wants this YESTERDAY" has been crazy.
----------------- Having an OK weekend... cancelled most of my plans due to this cold. I keep thinking I have energy and then I go to actually DO something and find out I was wrong. I did return some shoes yesterday, and the place was having this huge clearance sale, so I ended up buying a couple other pairs. Got a couple of really nice pairs of shoes (normally $50 each) for about $19 total, so that was nice!!
Friday night H and I went out to dinner with our neighbors at this little bar/grill up the street. Hadn't seen them in awhile so that was fun. Last night I was ready to just snack on soup or something but H invited me to dinner to use a gift certificate he got for Christmas - so went out to dinner again last night. (then immediately home to crash on the couch!).
Some friends went out to see a band called the "Bootie Shakers" and that sounded really fun!! But it didn't even start til 9:30.. no way I was going to make it that late (especially shaking my bootie.. ). Hopefully we can do something like that again soon though. I think one of the girls is friends with the drummer, so they'll probably go see them fairly often. It was going to be my mysterious Saturday night outing.. will have to do something next weekend instead.
Oh.. one kinda funny thing.. as you all know I have been working WAY late a lot of nights. Thursday night I decided to also drop by Lowe's to get some paint (yes, trying another color again!). I got off work really late and then ended up wandering around Lowe's for a bit so I didn't get home til about 9:45. H said hi, usual polite hug/kiss, told me what he'd been doing on his car - but had this just plain weird look on his face the whole time. Finally in an almost sheepish tone he said "So... are you going to tell me where you were?" I hadn't even realized that I hadn't mentioned where I was and it was pretty late to be getting home! That was pretty funny. I told him "Oh I just dropped by Lowe's after work" - but I hadn't brought anything in with me. He asked if I needed help carrying anything and I said no thanks... so I am fairly sure he's wondering what the heck is going on and what home improvement project I have up my sleeve NOW.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Thanks.. I talked to my bro and he said his cold has lasted for 5 weeks now. I sure hope this doesn't hold on that long!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
So sorry to hear you're sick. I hate to say it, but the stuff we have going on down in SoCal hangs on forever. I've had some ick hanging on since early December...blecch! Not enough to keep me miserable, but enough to remind me I'm still not well. Now we've got the flu making the rounds!
Sounds like your H is really trying. Good for you for keeping the expectations low and the focus on you. That's detachment. Honestly, living in the moment and letting go of attachment is huge.
Take care of yourself!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Uuugh SD, that does not sound fun!!! My bro is in San Francisco and sounds like he has something similar. I hope this doesn't last that long but it sure feels like it might.
Thank you!! I feel like I'm doing ok. For some reason the last two nights I have had nightmare after nightmare... all involving H. In one we continue forward as we are now, except we both start dating other people. Still live together, sleep together, etc. but we are basically moving on into new relationships while continuing along as married. We even went to the courthouse together to file for D - me, my boyfriend, him, his girlfriend - but we still lived together!! It was weird. The others mostly involve him flipping out completely (as in total personality change and becoming abusive - which has NO basis in fact). Again.. weird. Not dwelling on it, just kind of noting it.
I know I mentioned this earlier, but mentioning it again as a reminder and to kick myself in the butt a bit. I am sooo trying to get myself motivated to start a true Body For Life workout challenge. The organized / disciplined aspect of it really works well for me. It's that initial motivation that's lacking right now. I'm sure that some of it's my cold, but still, working on getting excited and inspired.
In order to do the "official" challenge I have to start before Feb. 11... trying to really make myself get on board by then and do this!! I did 2 of the 12 week challenges and started a third one years ago and felt sooo good.
I remember crying in frustration the first day when I realized just HOW weak and uncoordinated I was... and crying with pride on the last day when I took my "after" pics and realized how far I had come. At that time I still had a lot more weight to lose but it was still a dramatic change. Now I'm even lighter thanks to the bomb diet... time to get rid of those last pounds and get toned and strong!!
WOW.. talk about inspiring. Her "beginning" stats are pretty similar to mine, too.
Although for this week my only real goal is to get to my dance class. Probably won't do too great since I'm exhausted after about 20 minutes of anything right now, but I don't want to make excuses to skip it.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I'm sorry to hear about the nightmares. I'm sure it has to do with the timing of everything, and the fear of the whole bomb thing happening all over again. But I truly feel this time is different. YOUR different. So don't let it consume you... it's okay to have fear as long as you are in control. Fear can make us cautious and make us prepare, instead of being oblivious.
VERY FUNNY bout H and you comin home late!!! and I love how you didn't even realize anything too, so it wasn't like you purposely tried to be late to make him wonder.
hope you feel better soon. and YES, do the BFL thing. no matter if your able to stick to the whole thing, you know it will still help your goals. Just don't give up just because you can't make it exactly like they say. I think of it as just another motivator to help me make healthy/exercise choices. I'm sure I'm not doing what they want, but I've worked out 3 times in a week since I started, so I'm proud of that! just using some videos I already had.
well, you just take care of yourself, and get well!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Nik, Long time, sounds like things are moving steady on the home front. Sorry to hear about the nightmares and your grandma! Get well and good luck with the bfl thing.
Hey Nik, You work to hard..... Relax a little..... you are sick, if you keep this up you will never get better..... remember you owe me a b-day meal......
Dr Love....
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I hadn't even realized that I hadn't mentioned where I was and it was pretty late to be getting home! That was pretty funny. I told him "Oh I just dropped by Lowe's after work" - but I hadn't brought anything in with me. He asked if I needed help carrying anything and I said no thanks... so I am fairly sure he's wondering what the heck is going on and what home improvement project I have up my sleeve NOW. 