ok maybe we could look at this as h bending...though it's not the kind of bending I'm looking for..
every home I've ever lived in has had forsythia bushes in the yard...to me they are just spring...when we moved into this house I had asked about putting some in...h didn't like the idea..doesn't like them..they are too wild...un taimed etc..
for easter h bought me two and planted them...and now h is talking about bordering the whole back yard with them..
ok so h is thoughtful...
maybe I'm just a brat...but I'm sorry I want my man to want me!! but now I don't even know what I want.
Here's my 2 cents -- heck, you've heard about a dime from me already -- if you can "see" the things that H does, even if it's not exactly what you want, you'll relax and it may really work to your advantage. I try to "journal" three good things a day because I realized a while back that I was missing the stuff he WAS doing because of all the stuff I wanted that he WASN'T doing.
Of course, that doesn't keep me cheerful and grateful all the time...hah, but it does keep me noticing the ways in which H speaks to me.
Maybe for mother's day H will present you with more forsythia bushes but he'll be N(*&D when he gives 'em to you... (a girl can hope, no?)
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Good suggestion from Sage. You always seem to ultimately recognize the nice things H does. You are not a brat just a woman who wants and deserves to be loved.
Quote: maybe I'm just a brat...but I'm sorry I want my man to want me!! but now I don't even know what I want.
First, you're not a brat. Outspoken, yes - which I greatly appreciate. As well as a bunch of others on the boards, I suspect...
But a brat? Not just no, but hell no !
Just as I am struggling to find the right love language for my W, your H is struggling to find yours. It's difficult without some roadsigns to guide us poor slobs called males!
Maybe as your joint C sessions go further along, he will begin to understand. Please be patient, LL. Your H has come along a long way since this time last year. Not at the pace you would have liked - but he is trying to move there in his own way. At least he has been intimate with you - it's been close to two years for me. And even longer for some of the long time vets on the board.
Please take care of your kids as well. I promise that I'll do the same with mine.
Yes I'm alive. Just took mental break. Guess I missed the get-together on Friday. Next time.....
Your H indeed has to get over the "that's just the way I am" BS. To induce change one must be willing to change. Hope the C and you can make him understand that.
lostlove,we all wish for what we aren't getting,I went from spending almost no time with XW to spending some time everyday for the last 22 days with her.I feel she is trying but what I wouldn't give for a hug.I think your husband is trying.What is the big deal if he doesn't ask you out? Ask him if he goes that says alot,maybe talk to him about setting up a 1 night a week date.Put the moves on him. You a little past the starting point just keep it going.Have you asked H to go with you to Florida?
As well as a bunch of others on the boards, I suspect... 
