I think I just need to say to him. Look...either you want to give this a go in which case you'll break up with her. I will not talk relationship stuff or ML with you until you prove that she (and previous g/f) are out of the picture.
What do u think?
I think you have every right to set that boundary.
Have you spent some time thinking about what your life will be like, whether he comes back to make a real effort or not? What are the things you want in your life for yourself? What concrete steps can you take right now to get closer to having those things?
If he comes back, you are more the person you want to be, and you can share your improved life with him. If he doesn't, you will have done more than "worked on yourself," you will have brought more of the things you love into your own life, for you, for your daughter, and when the time is right, for sharing with some guy who will honor a commitment to you.
Self help and all that is fine, but it can become a cruel master. Accepting yourself as imperfect but still doing your best, which includes sometimes backsliding, is a much more relaxed way to live. If you're separated, if you're piecing, if you're divorced, if you're married, relaxing is better than stressing.
Happy Friday!
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
