Please help me!! My wife wants out!

[steve477]

Thanks for the replies. It means alot to me.
Update*
I know I shouldnt have but I instigated a conversation about the other man tonight. I told her I was jealous of the connection they shre, as it used to be something we shared. She said she understood, and was really sorry. But she needs him at the moment, their connection is important to her. I was very calm during all the conversation which lasted most of the night. She says she cant forgive herself for hurting me, and that is a big reason she cant be with me. Some small part of her wants to be with the other guy still. He has gone back to his wife now to try and work things out. But he and my wife are still `connecting`. My wife said that mainly he sends the emails and she just replies, and they dont talk about anything special. She says that there is no hope for us as a married couple, but we can be friends Can I believe this? i want to believe there is hope. She knows that she cannot really have the other guy, but still needs his support during this difficult time. She has also said I need to give her space. Early in the night, she said she might miss me if we separate, but by the end she was not positive at all. Probably countering my positivity. She then got a call from work about something she forgot to do, she was in tears about that.... I dont like the amount of herself that she gives to her job. (Even taking me out of the equation, I think she gives too much to be good for herself). She insists on talking about me moving on with my life and finding a new love.
We talked a bit about how I let her down alot, it was difficult for her to trust me. I agreed with everything she said... all the forgotten bills, the messiness, the broken promises (even before we were married) I can certainly see her point. Is there anyway I can try to regain her trust.. I guess from just making positive changes in my life that she can see.
As a side note, we havnt kissed or made love in over 3 weeks now, I would really like to do that, feel that emotional connection that accompanies it. I am being unrealistic? Any thoughts much appreciated.