Use that -- sparingly. Don't be too obvious, but if -- in your talk with your wife tonite -- the context is appropriate, you might want to add some of your own dreams about the future -- bold, challenging, exciting dreams, and how you so hope that she will choose to be a part of them.
Maybe compliment her on how bright she is, if you can do it without being heavy-handed or needy/grabby.
Just a thought. NOP gave me this idea, over on the SSM board. With me, I had it on good authority that OM had belittled my wife's decision to go back to work full-time. For her, this was a HUGE milestone, and a huge challenge, after being a SAHM for nearly all of our 22 years together, and she was rightfully proud of getting her CPT certification and going back to work full-time. He pooh-pooh'd it, and I knew it had made her angry (she didn't know I knew this).
So one night, before retreating to our separate bedrooms (we were living that way back then), I stopped on my way thru the family room and said "G'nite. And oh, by the way . . . (pause for dramatic effect) . . . I'm really proud of you and how you've gone full-time at work. That's a big accomplishment, and must have been scary, and I don't think I ever told you that. G'nite!"
and I went to bed.
She told me months later, after she ended her affair and we were working at reconciliation, that that had meant the WORLD to her.
