I will read what you suggested Kerry. We do spend time alone together, but not as often since we had kids. Actually, one of our arguments used to be that I needed to get us a sitter if I wanted us to go out. I finally got one in August but by then H was 4 months into his A, even if I didn't know it. And we took two weekend trips over the summer/fall but both were after the A started so I don't think H enjoyed them as much as I did. In fact the second trip was only 6 weeks before I caught him w/OW so we spent part of the trip talking about my suspicions...not so romantic?
Part of me would love to just surprise him and get a sitter for an evening or even take the kids to my mom's for a weekend so we can have fun together. But what I get from my conversations w/H is that he seems to think just hanging out and having fun together avoids the R problems, or that having a romantic evening will somehow make me think everything is fine again. It seems like ANY step we take makes him afraid that I will "assume everything is fine". But if we take no steps, how do we make progress? I don't know if I should ask him that? Maybe I should ask in a different way, like "What does progress in our M look like to you? What would need to happen for you to feel we are making progress?" What do you think??
