I have been on this board some time. Started with a sex starved marriage. So that was bad enough. Then my husband was caught writing women from a dating site who he was planning to meet. He is the one with the low sex drive by the way. So that floored me. He was angry and I believe was and is still going through a depression. I have fought, cried,and been compassionate. I have suggested counseling. I have tried to get him to go for counseling. I have been very vocal with him about my feelings. I started to GAL. I have changed a lot. I lost weight, went back to school. I do things alone. I got a job. I smile a lot. I feel I am a different person.
One thing I should say is I have always been against cheating. Found it to be the worst thing you could ever do to a human. Never could imagine how someone could ever get to that place. Until I was faced with it. Which is why I have been kind of MIA for awhile. I feel so many emotions running in my head right now. With my husband having the lower sex drive I have felt so lonely, so unattractive, so not wanted at all. I feel loved when we have sex and miss having that with a man. I have also found that I am not attracted to my husband in that way anymore. Now mind you this is all hitting me at once here lately. This guy I work with started hitting on me. Now mind you I have had that happen before and just took it as a compliment. NEVER gave it a second thought through 15 years of marriage. Even though my husband has had a low drive for 10 years now. But now this guy hits on me and there is a very strong attraction. He is also 10 years younger then me. I have not dated him, kissed him, or anything like that. But there has been flirting. Big flirting. I am ashamed and disappointed in myself.
But yet in my mind I think heck he did it to me. He is the one not giving me what I need to feel loved. He isn't man enough to fullfill me. I am not attracted to a low drive male anyway. I am rationalizing this in my mind.
It took a lot to admit this. I don'twant sympathy because it's wrong to want to cheat on your spouse. Could this possibly be something a cheated on spouse can sometimes go through? I know the cheater seems to fear this. By the way I did tell him about this. I had to be honest. He has said nothing and has not changed at all.
