h and I apparently have learned how to argue...we just haven't learned to make up!!! the argument just ends...leaving me feeling un heard...missunderstood..etc...leaving h to go to sleep to wake to tommorow as a new day...
oh when will we ever learn...when will I ever learn to stop going down cheeseless tunnels...when will I learn that h is not going to stop an argument easily by saying buy LL I love you and I'm sorry for complicating things...when will I learn to just accept h for who he is...and be happy that he's home?????
LL is tired...LL needs to learn to be a better dbr...LL needs to give it a break for a while...LL needs to stop analyzing everything...LL needs to stop obsessing over the past...LL needs to move on with her h in the here and now...the good and the not so good...LL needs to learn from her h...the one who has read no books but knows enough to take it day by day...don't sweat the small stuff...etc...LL needs to grow up and take a good look around at what she's got...LL needs to stop feeling bad about what's happend...as that silly baboon in the lion king say's "what does it matter...it's in the past" LL needs to be quiet for a while and listen closely...h is saying things that she just isn't hearing..she's too busy writing her own damn play where she's the fool...LL is not a fool...LL is a very smart lady...LL is good enough and so is her h...
LL self inflicted slap!! I don't know why I get so down, I don't know why I want h to be misserable with me...maybe I should be on some meds??
going to sleep and hoping that h will acept a cuddle from me!
