Yes...the WAS will not really be able to look at us objectively while still involved in the affair.
But, I've been told, the time after the affair is over crucial. They still feel connected to the affair partner, the withdrawal feelings are powerful, they are grieving a loss. In addition, they have re-framed their marriage so negatively, they often can see no hope. It's common to hear, that after the affair, the only thing the WAS can think of is, "Well there's no choice left now."
I think this is the time when the LBS is ready to drop their guard and walk away. They want the WAS to come running back in teary-eyed repentance. It's going to take time for the WAS to wake up, if they do wake up at all.
