Ugh. I didn't get 25 words into it when I read this:
Quote:
As difficult as it is for me, I guess it was unrealistic for me to ask you to promise never to be in contact with him again.
((((rrrrr!!!! WRONG.))))
It is absolutely realistic, and reasonable, for you to ask your wife to never have contact with him again.
Is it realistic to ask an alcoholic to never again have another drink? Yes. It is easy?? No, it's damned hard, and it will be damned hard for your wife to go thru the pains of withdrawal, if she chooses to, and it'll tear YOUR heart out to watch her go thru it.
But why are you ASKING her to do -- "be faithful to our vows" -- what should simply be the STANDARD of any marriage?
You are not only begging and pleading, you are asking for permission to do the right thing.
No, Trying, you cannot MAKE her end her affair. But you can EXPECT her to, and you can CONVEY that as a very reasonable expectation of a husband who's in love with his wife and who is trying to fight to save his marriage and his family.
To anything less, I guarantee you, SHE sees as weak. And not only will "weak" not cut it at this point, "weak" just ain't attractive, either.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I don't know any other way to say it.
