Why lay low? Unless I've missed something, you have a wife who agreed to cut off contact -- she just messed up. Ask her if she's still willing to end it, and come back and work on your marriage. As Aimhigh says, "don't oversell," or in ANY way beg or plead. Simply reiterate to her that you do NOT want a divorce, and you DO want to fight for her, and for your family, but that you see OM, rightfully, as an obstacle standing in the family's way.
The "for GOOD" part will NOT happen without a bullet-proof no-contact/transparency plan. It's not enough to simply count on her willpower and good character to pull it off.
Think "alcoholic" or "compulsive gambler" -- that's what you're dealing with.
