BFM, I read your post to Treese about her H moving out, that he wants her to kick him out rather than him just leaving on his own. I understand what you said, my H is much the same. He won't leave on his own and I figured he wanted to be kicked out to look better to everyone, but he won't say he will stay and work on anything with me. He's been sleeping on the couch for over 3 years, has his clothes all out of the house, only keeps handy what he needs day to day...

I've never been able to or been strong enough to enforce any type of ultimatum for any length of time, he's left for a night a few times but always back home in 24 hours. He hasn't said for quite a while that he is leaving, but I have quit that cheeseless tunnel about asking him too.

We are both involved in many joint activities and events, quite often we end up at the same meeting or event or friends house whether it is planned or unplanned. There was a period when I felt H was really trying to separate that part of our lives too but it doesn't feel that way too much any longer.

At what point has it been 'long enough' and you suggest to do something that WOULD cause H to leave...or better than that make a decision to stay? I feel as though we've become too comfortable in such a screwed up way of life.

Sorry for the hijack, looking for an opinion from someone 'who's been there' and made it back. TIA.

How is FW? and how are you? both recovering from surgery? Here's too health and happiness!! <clink>

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.