For the moment, your best bet is to take the focus on what is happening with your wife, and put the focus on working to make yourself into the best possible Steve. Work on your own issue. Be a good guy. Take some time to enjoy your own life without being too terribly concerned if it includes her. It's fine to offhandedly invite her to activities that you are doing, but go anyway.
She is straight out of an affair and she really doesn't have the emotions to spend on you. The texting and talking is more than just innocent friendship, but there really isn't much you can do about that unless you eventually choose to go your own way. You won't make a great deal of headway with her until the luster of her affair wears off and she has a chance to really look at you with fresh eyes. If you are weak, pathetic, broken, needy, and mope around all the time, she won't draw any kind of positive distinction. You have to be strong.
Agree with previous advice. Read other threads.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
