I am SOOOO glad you're back. Amazing...you should be a therapist. I needed that butt-kicking to get me out of my woe-is me-mood. Honestly, I'm keeping your post handy so when I feel like crap I can get a shot of fearlessness.
I have read No More Mr. Nice Guy, but didn't really find it all that helpful. It was empowering, but also very confrontational. If I had followed some of the approaches in the book, I would've just driven her right out the door. The "Learned Optimism" book arrived yesterday, along with one sold on this website "How to Change Your Life...". So I've got some reading to do.
You're right about how my wife should fear loneliness more. With a high school education, her job choices are very limited, and she'll have to hook up with somebody to pool her income. Her current spending habits can only be supported by someone with a good education and lots of ambition. The smart, ambitious men in her age bracket will see that coming and think "gold-digger" pretty quick. And if they're willing to hook up with a gold-digger, it's not going to be some 50 year old grandma.
And she'll have to find someone who will accept all her eccentricities and insecurities, which are considerable (she is human, after all). Like this one: she's always had to be surrounded by animals. We've always had dogs and cats up the wazoo. Where will she live, or who will let her move in with with her two big dogs and three cats? She IS lucky to have me Saf. I have accepted and adapted to a lot of her behaviors over the years. And I'm STILL doing it, but now, without having any of my needs met.
She's already alienated her family with her behavior. The kids think she's nuts.
Whew!...okay. I'll be good for a while now. Thanks Saffie...
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
