Infidelity is not the core issue, I've come to believe.
Sir,
With all due respect, how can you possibly work on your marriage -- even her MLC issues -- if your wife has made the unlateral decision to invite another man into your marriage?
And how can that NOT be the core issue that needs to be addressed before you can begin to work on your marriage?
I will butt out after saying this, because you don't seem to want to hear it, but I think you are allowing your wife to deflect you away from the selfish decision that she made (and continues to make).
Gobbledegook aside, do you honestly believe you are a "batterer" or are abusive? If so, then yes, get help for that. But you've detailed for us here how you thought that was all so much b.s.
