I don't think counseling is going to do anything so long as there is an active affair going on. The "in love" brain chemicals pretty much shut down every attempt at love deposits and even imparting of common sense.
The first thing that needs to happen is to get her to agree to no-contact and come back and work on the marriage, IMHO. If anything, a BAD counselor might be used as a validation for her affair; sad, but true. A very good, PRO-MARRIAGE counselor certainly couldn't HURT, but again, his wife is not going to be open to it as long as those PEAs are runnin' around that pretty little brain of hers.
