How to win my wife back? HELP!!

[smileysmile1966]

Well My ex father is in hospital having triple by pass surgery.
So I was asked that if I could look after our D a little longer.
So I had her from 8am unti 8pm. My ex could go straight from work to the hospital.

I pulled up in her street and my heart sank and stomach churned as I noticed OM car parked opposite her house but a little further up. How do I know it is his car? Sherlock Holmes is my midddle name.
She opened the door and I handed her our D. I stepped inside and my ex looking like she was off to work not coming back from work.
Hair tied up showing her sexy neck. Make up perfect and her sexy figure. I still loved her and had the hots for.

I said can I use your toilet as I am bursting to go. Which I was.
The look on her face was a priceless. NO, she replied. You are going back to your house you can wait. I replied I only want to use your toilet. You have used mine 3 times.
I knew he was hiding upstairs. So I called his name **** you can come downstairs now. Ex replied nobodys up there.
I said his car is outside which she denied and then I pushed my way up there and the silly fool was standing in the dark behind her bedroom door. Dressed in a smart suit as if he had just come home from work. He held his hand up with something that looked like a dvd and said he popped around to pick them up. He looked scared lol
I said **** just go downstairs. My ex said NO, **** stay here. But he shot out of the house into his car and off he went.
I asked my ex for her spouse pass back. She said she was going to call the police and I said go on then. I said she was a liar. He is here hiding in the bedroom and I have just our daughter back. I NEVER lost my cool and it was quite comical all this happened. She is probably wondering how I knew he was there.

She gave the pass back and I said as I was leaving I will see D on Monday (I have D that day, according to her devised rota).
She replied know you won't and slammed the door. Wait for her to cool down.
I not sure she or he thought I was going to hit him. I have never done anything like it in my life but I felt numb. Really numb.
I would have had more respect for her if he was just sat in the lounge than hiding upstairs.
How pathetic was this???
I think he must have picked her up after work as he works 15 minutes away now that he left her company 3 mths ago.
And took her to see her dad in hospital as he hung around in the car park and then took her to her car parked near the train station and followed her back to her house. Why the hell would he be there this time of all days when i was dropping off D. How insensitive was that? And hiding upstairs. How many times has she done this? Looking back in the last 3 mths.

This time last year how things were different. I feel so numb.
I have just come back from my 1st of 6 counselling sessions and I cried to the female C.
I told her what had happened last night. So she is getting an insight into who I am etc.
Funnily enough, I was going to tell my Ex that the counselling was brought forward because of a cancellation. I thought she would think that I was actually doing something. But never expected this.
I am so numb. Why am I here? In this position? Why why why WHY!!?

I haven't texted her. And I won't keep in contact other than for our D. I am not going to say anything to her. Only to do with our D.
How the heck do you hold it together when this happens? When OM is involved? How do you guys on DB do it and still think you can get back together.
How humilating and demeaning it is for me.
Right now I want her this D sorted and get on with our lives. I don't need anymore lies from her. Maybe, just maybe he is just a friend. He comes from a Jamaican family and part of me knows this would never work between them. But to say to him whence I was there "stay ****". lol that is a kick in the belly.

M ONLY 18 mths ago! NOW look at me?

I am thinking whether to give her pass back until it expires in June. And saying to her that I am not going to listen to you anymore ref. this OM and that you aren't seeing anybody etc. just that you can keep the spouse pass. I am not going to sink so low and let you keep it until it expires.

I think my ex has the personality type where she sees everything in black and white. You cross her and she will drop you for good.
No going back NO matter how much you try to win her back. All the DB in the world will never work on her. Some women are like that and that is also what I read in DB.
If she has been hurt and she has lost trust in her spouse (me) then that is it. Her heart is closed forever!
"Next" please.
I feel so low today and so numb.