For Those w/ LD Wives

[RedHeadWife]

Well, first of all I'll tell you what happened last night and then I will tell you what I'm going to do today.

I met that woman who just was a "person" who is an alcoholic/addict herself. Ended up taking me to an AA meeting. Met a girl there afterwards who had just come out of rehab for pain meds & I sobbed on my way home & to my parents when I got home b/c something she said struck me SOOO hard: She said that she felt like the person she used to be & more after going through rehab.

I told my parents I was going to check myself into rehab and I'm going to TODAY. The reason is this: Yeah, I need to get off the meds, but I need to figure out the WHY I felt the need/desire whatever to be on them and why I'm SO UNHAPPY.

I can't taper. First, I can't even get another refill from any of my docs -- I'm at the end of my rope. Second, I've said that for months "one more refill, I'll taper off & I'll be done." Well, I have absolutely no self-control when I have them. I take about 7 or 8 a day and if I have them, I take them. I have tried & tried and said over & over that I was going to taper off and I just can't do it.

Oh and I have told IRL people. First I told one of my bosses, then we went to my other boss (the "Big Guy") and he's who helped me get the name of that woman. He thought that this one doc would be able to help me and actually stopped at his office to talk to him about me, but that doc is the one who gave me this other woman's name. And, my parents are in the loop and they will help w/ the boys and financially if need be.