JOHN210(AKA the angry LBS or SOB)

[Jen1967]

I have mixed feelings about the whole separation thing. I'm sorry I keep harping on it, john210, but I feel my H and I wouldn't have gone through such hell if he had stayed in the house. It gave him free run to completely detach from me and screw her brains out whenever he wanted. He wants to come back now, but now it's weird and there's a lot of work to do before he can come back. It's like he's changed and so have I and I don't know if our desired path back is really attainable. Too early to tell. A lot of damage has been done. I feel like we could have worked things out easier if he had stayed.

The other part of me says it's good he had free run with her to get it over with quicker. In other words, rather than having to steal time here and there because he lived with me, which would have dragged their A on longer possibly, he had as much time with her as he wanted. Maybe this accelerated the A process and helped it cool off quicker. I don't know. I think I remember reading, however, that the odds of saving the M are lower if one moves out.

Aside from these emotional issues, legally for you, I think it's best YOU stay and SHE leave. I still think it's best if you both stay under the same roof if there's any chance of saving M at all. I also feel for D7. My D8 has suffered tremendously with H gone. Anyway, if one of you does leave, it should be W, not you.

My 2 cents.