Yes, we need a SCHEDULE!! H told me almost 2 weeks ago he was going to e-mail a schedule. As of today still nothing (he says he didn't have time...in two wks you can't make the time to do something this important?), so I sent him what I want. He replied to the e-mail thanking me and telling me that he's too busy to look at it until Friday. Like he can't look at it for 10 minutes before he goes to bed or something?? Anyway, I have this sneaking suspicion he's up to something. Why would he be putting it off like this? I could look at it two ways....1) he's slowing the process down because he's reconsidering things. No...that's definitely not it. 2) Is he working something out with his lawyer? I have a suspicion it's the latter. Of course, it's also a possibility that he's just being lazy...as a matter fact that could be the most likely explanation of all!
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Jenny I wouldn't let your son go yet. He is too little to me. Bfeeding or not. I checked with a L about mine and he said they don't recommend they be away like that until they are well over a year. I know you want your H to see how hard it is, but is it the best thing for your son?
SO2, I appreciate your concern. And I know that if I faught him, I would handsdown win for obvious reasons. But I think that is where these things can get dirty. People start to hold up their 'rights' and forget that the real goal is not getting what I'm entitled to, but to do what is best for the children. That is my focus. Having said that, I let him go for a few reasons... 1) First and foremost, I KNOW S will be fine. H may be a lot of bad things right now, but above all he is a good Dad (aside from the fact that he cheated on the mother of kids and left her at 8 mths preggo...). I trust that H will take good care of him and that the time away will be good for both S & I. 2) On that note...the time alone (I hate that word) will be good for me. I've been 24/7 Mom for a long time now and I need to start to find myself again. - My D...she needs to start to associate her Dad with her brother. When she's with her Dad, she has him all to herself. And when she's with me, she gets me and S. And S takes a lot attention because he's only 3 mths old. She actually said to me the other day "I'm Daddy's "D" and "S" is Mommy's". She is 3 years old and at a VERY impressionable stage. It is important that she knows her brother is part of HER too as well as her Dad. 3) It is good for S to have the time with his Dad. I do not in any way want to take his father away from him. This one is hardest for me because I don't feel H deserves him. After how he treated me during my pregnancy and after, I feel as though S is only mine. But that isn't fair to S. There is going to come a time eventually when I will have to let S go for weekends (even if it is a whole year from now) and when that happens I want S to have a well established R with his Dad so that it is not a scary experience. 4) It's just 3-4 hrs. I'm not ready for anything more than that right now. Once the set schedule is in place, I will be taking Yoga classes during the evening he watches him.
When I got off the phone after confirming to H he could take him, I bawled. Then when he pulled out of the driveway, I bawled again. But the truth is, I cried the first time I left D too. And even though it's a lot harder now for obvious reasons, I know now like I knew then that it what is best for both of us. As hard as it is emotionally to deal with it, I need to. Typing this out really helped me to work through the reasoning. I had to make the decision so quickly, and even though I knew it was the right decision...I think I just needed to put these words to those feelings.
So here I am with 3 hrs all to myself....what will I do?? J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
