I'm not telling you to "PUSH" her to do anything. What I AM trying to get you to do is to stop unilaterally disarming. You are making concessions she's not even asking for!
Like a President in a world crisis, keep ALL of your options on the table, and let her KNOW that you're keeping them all on the table. Your position is, "You are my wife, and I love you and I will fight for my marriage and my family, you're damned right I will."
Let her wonder what you're up to. But DON'T let her call all the shots.
There is nothing "bigger person" about being a doormat. Tell her you love her, if that's what you want, and then FIGHT for her. I never met a man (or a country) yet who could fight once they've unilaterally decided to take virtually all of their weapons off of the table.
