OK that whole conversation madness that you went through with your husband when he accused you of not having a civil conversation and he dismissed you is so reminiscent (I don't know how to spell the word) of conversations that I had with my H. You know BJ that is just nuts. It took being seperated for me to see how crazy those sorts of coversations were. You end up feeling like sh-t while he goes and parties it up the rest of the night. I used the do that all the time and guess what? When I would call right back right to voicemail I would go. Don't call back anymore. I stopped doing that. It's like they are playing mind games. The normal thing to have done would have been to come home and talk. Don't let him convince you otherwise and don't you apologize for expecting that. I stopped calling back long ago and when I feel the conversation going bad I simply say "OK". He expected you to call right back and that's why he sent you to voicemail. If you are like me you know how you are going to respond and the more I talk the more I put my foot in my mouth. Again, it's best to just say "OK". My H always came home, but it started getting later and later and later and any later would have been the next day. That I won't tolerate. I don't want to be up worrying and I know I will and I find it disrespectful. I asked my H to leave because I knew it was going there and that I just would not tolerate. Outta sight, outta mind. If you are not here the dirt you do is not being rubbed in my face. The other thing I don't do anymore is make threats. When he would start getting disrespectful I would threaten to leave or tell him he could leave. I would never follow through. Now if I say it I mean it. It's OK for you to tell him if he spends one more night out you and the kids won't be joining him in Omaha, but then don't join him. Also, my H said the same thing yours did about thinking I was weak for putting up with his crap. It's funny because me putting up with his crap had very little to do with him. It was about me and my valuing my vows and believing in for better or worse. This was just part of the worse.
