I can't exactly say I feel my guilt is melting away. I guess I have always felt that it was mostly my fault. BUT, I have made a lot 180's/changes, that I believe are best for me. That is what helped me. Knowing I will never be that person again.
I talked to a pastor early on about the guilt feelings. Felt strongly I'd failed in many ways and not done all I could have. But he pointed out that none of my actions or lack thereof were intended to hurt. In fact a lot of what W took offense to was specifically intended for the long term good of the family. At any rate I think it was mostly W constantly on the attack and my lack of patience/skills to deal with it by validation of her feelings and by being more assertive in these situations. Instead I became reactive, frustrated, irritable and angry.
jmw128 if can look up my sitch and suggest some possible 180's to add to Lan's list I'd appreciate it.
