Oh, and I didn't mention that I did call this lady and I'm going to meet w/ her TONIGHT. Yes, Red is serious here. I have way too much to lose and it's time I take care of this. I've known for too long that I *needed to,* but didn't want to/wasn't ready to.
Here's my other deal though -- I haven't told H. I'm almost scared to. I don't know if I'm going to or not, depending on how this pans out. I guess part of me is embarrassed and part of me is worried that he would be able to use this against me at some point. But then there's the thought and I'm sure someone will bring it up -- what if he finds out somehow?
I don't know -- thoughts on this? How to tell him? Tell him over the phone -- I think I should just wait until he gets home and he doesn't have to worry about it and/or me or the boys, etc. Oh and honestly this has not affected the boys in any way! The pain meds don't "space me out" or anything like I was smoking pot or something. They just give me this "zing" that helps me get out of bed in the a.m. I know, I know, sounds like an underlying major depression issue, huh?
Man, I'm a mess!!! Maybe this will make some of you others feel like your life is Disney Land
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 01/23/0809:26 PM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10