Matilda and GL, It looks like I'm entering turbulence again. I can't keep up with her complaints. I'm getting email rants again.
The bathroom project is not going well. The handyman seems overbooked and is working very slowly on the project. The garage door isn't opening properly, and the handyman has his tools in the garage, so she's not able to park the car in there.
When she gets like this, there is no constructive communication. She wants to complain, and bring up the past. She seems to have a short memory about the positives I do. I bought her a vacuum cleaner over the weekend designed for hardwood floors, as she was complaining about dirt on her feet when she walks.
I'm trying to solve problems as quickly as I can, but my bucket can't bail the water fast enough. I also don't want to stop the positives in my life, and burn myself out solving R problems. I think I should maintain my GAL activities.
She seems to devalue me some days, and is grateful for me on other days--Jekyll and Hyde, hot and cold, black and white. Detachment and emotional boundaries will be important for me here.
I'm reading a book, "The Mindful Way Through Depression." by Jon Kabat Zinn and others. I don't think I'm depressed, but there are good mindfullness exercises that will help me to stay grounded so that I don't add my own layers of suffering to a difficult situation. It will also help me to face whatever is going on with our situation.
This situation is confusing, and frustrating.
I wonder if the winter season is playing some role with her mood?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
