Me 41 H 47 D9 S3 M 16 yrs WAH Sep 07 PA Aug 07 12/07 Admitted A 1/08 C 1/15 H needs me 5/7/08 came home 7/08 We moved to MD 10/08 M bad again 11/24/08 fled to GA(OW),filed D 12/8/08 Back in MD 12/23/08 I countered 12/29/08 path back?
Jen, I've been doing this (spare bedroom)for the last 5 months. Moving out is inevitable and may actually do our R some good. Unless W slips on some ice and falls on her head today and says she wants to give our R another try, I am moving out.
Your D is very precocious and observant. Protect her as much as you can. I cannot tell you how much D damages children! The effects are lifelong.
Sounds as if you had a good evening. Hold on to that. Recognize the babysteps and cherish them. Your w still loves you, but may not know it. Be the person she feel in love with, only better and maybe she will remember it. LadyDi
I never thought about the "hitting her head on ice" thing. Interesting!! Maybe I can pour a couple buckets of water out where my husband parks his truck.....it's 17 degrees here so I'm sure it would get slippery in a hurry
Anyway good luck I will keep reading to see how this progresses...
Jen, I've been doing this (spare bedroom)for the last 5 months. Moving out is inevitable and may actually do our R some good. Unless W slips on some ice and falls on her head today and says she wants to give our R another try, I am moving out.
My R with W improved a lot after she moved out. The whole 'living separately' thing really just emphasized the fact that things had changed.
At least moving out will give you the freedom to do a lot of things for yourself without feeling that your W is watching you or whatever. You should also find out what moving out will do in terms of affecting your ability to live in the house again - Some counties/states restrict you if you don't live somewhere for a while, even if you own it.
the way i think this will work is that we continue to pay the bills together and i will also stay here when my schedule permits and my W can not be here for D7. pretty screwed up i know but we have to do the best we can for D7. Only other alternative is MIL and you all know what i think of her.
maybe W will realize what she is doing when I leave. i will try to postpone the announcement to D7.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but I thought that my H might realize what he was doing if I moved out. It only gave him more time and more freedom to do more of what he was doing. Generally speaking, separations are just stepping stones for divorce. Sorry. Just my 2cents worth. Ladydi
Ladydi, If that is the case (stepping stone) so be it (no need to apologize). The other option has not worked out so far, therefore, a new strategy is in order. In the last couple of days as strange as this sounds, W seems to be struggling with our sitch. I see her looking at me differently. The wall is still up and I am certain she has made some type of announcement to various people. Knowing her the way I know her, there is no way she will lose face and at least not have a seperation. I don't know how some other people on this board feeel but hanging on to some type of hope that this will get fixed is probably not very healthy.
I don't want to spin your head anymore, but in my stich I moved out for 2 months and this just allowed W more freedom to f*ck OM without interruption. The ironic thing was she begged me not to move out, so in her words her extra sessions with OM were my punishment.
