Additionally, I'm hearing the word "detach" and I'd like you to consider a different word instead:
Autonomous.
That should be your goal.
To function INDEPENDENTLY of what is going on AROUND you.
What will it take for that to happen? For you to eventually no longer be moved by her ever-changing attitudes, moods and behaviors?
Figure it out.
It will take me removing the conflict inside me between my 'feelings' of needing to fix / control my environment and 'knowing' that when I am 'autonomous' my environment fixes itself. That I cannot control her. I can only control myself.
It goes against my very nature, my survivor personality.
I was about to say "and it's hard to do" but in reality it's only as hard as I make it be.
Setting goals and letting W go while living with her is a complicated situation. I could shut off my feelings for her and come across as 'cold' but keep my own self sane. That's how I've coped with my hard times in my life in the past. It doesn't seem right though. And it pushes her away.
