Well, he had the interview this morning. Apparently there were quite a few people interviewing for the same job. He said he thought it went ok but I am worried that other people probably have more experience than him.
I am really hoping the thoughts of OW fade over time. There are just things that trigger it. Hopefully we can start addressing these things soon. I'm just not sure when to bring them up...it doesn't seem he is going to.
Since our H's seem to be twins I will comment that I wonder that about my H a lot - he takes his time before he wants to talk about things and it usually is at bizarre times when he finally does lol. I think like a lot of this process it is part of changing the dynamic. I know with my H I always vented to him and never kept secrets, plus just generally talked a lot. I'm sure that contributed to him not talking as much. So I know if H and I reconcile I will have to bite my tongue a lot before he starts really talking to me again. Perhaps your H is similar?
I have my fingers crossed about that job for your H.
I am also sure the thoughts will become less painful over time - time heals all wounds and all. I don't know if this thought amuses you, but I bet OW felt the same way and a lot of things reminded your H about you while he was living with OW. H was obviously thinking about you. It works on all fronts, and it worked to your advantage because he moved to be with you. You are winning the war lol.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I guess I will just bite my tongue for the time being. I really am hoping that once he has a job and that worry is off of him then we can start to work on this and talk about things.
Yes, I am trying to remind myself that he did take that step to move here. I am hoping OW is feeling like I felt when he was there with her. Maybe that is wrong of me but I do. I am not even sure if he is still talking to her anymore but I just have this feeling he is. I just keep telling myself that he will probably never see her again and the contact will probably fade over time.
I didn't see H yesterday. I did talk to him on the phone for about an hour but he didn't ask me to come over or do anything so I didn't either. I guess I will let him take the lead there and continue doing the things I was doing before he moved here. It does seem that our conversations are coming easier and are more comfortable.
Yeah, I think so too. The other day I said something about wishing I knew what was going through his mind and he said to be honest, the only thing going through my mind right now is finding a job and making money. I know it is stressful for him. I was in the position of no job when we first got married. I went 4 months without a job and it was extremely stressful...but I also didn't do it on my own like he is trying to do now. H was there for support both emotionally and financially for me. I can't imagine trying to do it on my own.
On the upside he has been emailing me a lot at work today. I keep thinking the conversation is over and then he sends another one...kind of like he wants to keep on talking. He asked me to call him when I got off work today. Things seem to be moving in the right direction...baby steps.
Well he came over last night and asked my mom to cash a check for him that his mother had given him. He doesn't have a bank account here and neither do I so he didn't have a way to cash it. He hung out for a while. Then he left. Said he was going to get something to eat...didn't ask me to join him. It hurt my feelings so I guess i am going to have to learn to detach again. I had asked him to go eat the other night and we did. He hasn't turned me down on anything...he just hasn't taken the initiative on anything. I am going to try not to call or text him for a while.
I guess I will just step back and continue doing the things I was doing before he moved here. It is just harder to do that with him here. He even told me that he may meet up with one of his AF buddies that lives a couple of hours away this weekend. That kind of hurt because I thought we might be able to spend some time together this weekend. I have to detach.
On another note, I am going to New Orleans next weekend...so maybe he can stay here and wonder what I am doing. My best friend lives there and it is Mardi Gras weekend. I am pretty excited. I have been there in a couple of years.
I have to be the one to initiate our get togethers, but he never turns me down. So..why doesn't he ask me? He says he enjoys being with me now. Before he said he like being around me "somtimes." The way there is no R talks at all bothers me, but my instinct tells me to keep going like this. Enjoying our time together and making it fun. IF there is AW, make it so he would rather be with me. After this trust has been so badly broken we want them to reassure us, and I for one don't get that. He does not say, 'Oh, by the way, in case your concerned that I'm still having contact with OW, I'm not, nor will I ever." Why don't they know we need this??? If they are trying, why don't they give it their all? I mean by going to MC, spending more time together at THIER request,and saying ILY. What are these people so AFRAID of?? Don't THEY get tired of living in limbo too? It's hard when you've been married so long and been so close to Rachael
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
lol. That is about what I said! I am wondering that too if they ever get tired of being in limbo. It just seems like they would. I don't get it. I won't skip Mardi Gras...I have already bought a plane ticket and taken off work. I am pretty excited about it. Maybe I will be able to get my mind off of things for a little while.
Well, didn't talk to H all day yesterday. I didn't call, and neither did he. I guess I just thought that since he was moving here and said he wanted to work on things that we would be doing things together. Maybe he has changed his mind about working on things. Who knows. It was so much easier to be detached when he wasn't here. I almost want to go tell him that he needs to let me know what is going on. ...Maybe fear of his answer is what is stopping me.
