H is the person who self identifies as entrepreneur. H is the one who says "once you have caught the bug, that's it". He loves what he does for a living. It IS defining for him - he does tons of pro bono work that no "work for the man" job would allow time to do, he gets to help people through his work in the ways that he feels are valuable & pass on other stuff to colleagues in the field. I met him while he was doing his work and I was doing mine. WE respect this aspect of the other. It is not sacrosanct but I don't identify it as a primary issue either. Loving our work is one of our positives as individuals AND partners.
H is too tired and stressed for reasons that have a small amount to do with his job and a bunch to do with everything else. H takes on other's pain. He takes on the pain, trials and tribulations of each of our 16 former foster kids, their spouses, our seven grandkids, a host of family and friends. H loves to be made responsible for community stuff - "please chair this", "please volunteer for that." Of course, as long as he stays busy enough he can continue to avoid closeness & can claim tension/stress. The job is a piece of cake, he has voluntarily put controls on that.
