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Thanks for your input!

If you took other peoples advice to "move on" what exactly would you do ? How would your behaviour change. Something for you to think about to.

Here are a few: I'd have go dancing and dating, sell the house and downsize, accelerate the divorce, stop DBing, ...

Related to the above and something I've mentioned before, W doesn't see you moving on, maybe you need to give her that impression for things to change.

Correct and I constantly keep this in mind. Some baby steps last 2-3 months: no R/M talk, don't always answer phone, I rarely sympathize, never suck up, holding firm on finances, learned to cook, focus on the kids who I'm convinced really LOVE their dad, ...
Perhaps W needs a 180-like high voltage jolt but I'm too cautions and at a loss for what to do

Also you can eliminate things that do not aid your pursuit of happiness.

Personally I'm a minimalist so this comes easily to me. W didn't always appreciate this however but I consider this a good trait in general so I'm sticking with it except I must not let it overtake generosity and compassion for others who do not think like me.

Another thing that helped me early on is for any ounces of love I gave my 5D she would give me back 10 times that much.

I can vouch for this. I have learned to be dad and mom to my kids. In fact the LLs apply to kids as well. It makes me more confident and gives me strenght to go on more than dating and drinking would do for me.

I am so confident in myself now that I know I can push on if I do not have WAW. I also know that if WAW were to try she would see a new man worthy of her. Either way I win.

I'll keep this in mind. My confidence is improving and that sense of shame/guilt/fear is melting away. The Ws will also have to do their part eventually to "win" us back or we'd feel like doormats.