The Great Wall Part II

[Dom R]

No, H is not a workaholic. He is an entrepreneur which makes his hours irregular. I work the same # of hours as he. Changing his job to a 9/5 kinda thing would only kill his spirit and cause resentment. Being an entrepreneur isn't a job it is who he is.

Karen...
[attempting to say this "with love and caring", but doing a poor job of it...]

Bull----

What he does for a living, and how he does it, is "something he enjoys". not "who he is".

Right now, one might say that you are controlling him, by making a choice for him. You are the one defining him as "an entrepreneur". You are the one saying that him making a change, would do things to him.

How about talking to him about the effect his job is having, on your happiness, and then letting him decide whether he wants to change it. Letting him decide whether being an entrepreneur is "who he wants to be", over "someone who cares about his family more than his job".

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you say that him changing what he did would "kill his spirit and cause resentment".

However, what he is doing, is killing your spirit, and causing resentment, in you!

Some things are just not compatible with a good family life.
To compare with CEO's of major corporations... To do really well that sort of job, usually takes a major time commitment. The level of commitment, that destroys a decent relationship with one's family. If those people want a good family life and bond, they basically have a choice: the job, or their family.

If they want a good family life... they have to give up the job, and do something else.

Your husband's situation isnt quite "CEO level". But overall, it sounds like he is in a similar "job over family" type situation.
It is the #1 thing that he always comes back to, when you have actually talked to him about your unhappiness in the bedroom.
"I cant do that, because I'm too tired/stressed".

why is he too tired and stressed? Because of his job.

One way or another, you are only going to be happy in your marriage, if your H either changes his job, or changes HOW he does his job.

Are you going to actually talk to him about it? Or are you going to continue to just going to talk to us here about how unhappy you are with your SL, but not do anything constructive about it? :P