Man this sucks. I understand every word you are saying Choc. I HATE that I am having to be the bigger person, give up all of my values, and promise so much of what I don't think i should have to promise. But I konw for a fact, that if I push her to a decision, it will be over. If I don't give her the space, it will be over.
I do know she has to give up all contact with the other guy. I know she just isn't ready. If I threaten to leave now, I will be in divorce/custody court in a heartbeat. As much of a fool I am, I am still holding onto the dream that we can work it out.
Just went out and bought The Divorce Remedy book. There are a couple of pages in there about this situation (Unfaithful spouse not sure about leaving affair partner.) The books says I need to basically stop (most) talk about the affair and move on with my life. Get healthy, get some hobbies, do what makes me happy. (That sounds really tough right now.) The books says there is nothing I can do to push, plead, beg, pull her into a decision. She has to make it. So the only thing I can do is focus on me and the kids. Seems like there is a lot of risk in this, but I am just about to the point of giving it a try. I can't guilt her into this marriage.
She would be the biggest fool in the history of the earth if she decided to be done with me though.
