It's the MLC, not the infidelity

[SirPrizeMe]

Jack, thanks for the welcome. This is not a club I ever wanted to join. {sticks tongue out at entire frigging world}

Palgal, to answer your question:

I should never have left the house, for 2 reasons: first, I was more effective DBing in the house than out. Leaving the house convinced her I was abandoning her; she immediately began preparing divorce papers. 2nd: I gave up rights as a parent when I left my children. Sad but true. I should have seen a lawyer before leaving, but I didn't, and now I don't get to see my kids unless she agrees to it. I hate this.

I know what you mean about "his face looks so old." I've noticed that about W, too. Looking in her face, I know this is no picnic for her.

I am still DBing, which for my situation, means:
- cheerful every time she sees me
- GAL to the degree I can.
- Acting as if everything will be fine
- working on acceptance and "dropping the rope"

Right now, my GAL efforts are not working so well. I really miss my kids and it's bringing me down. When I take inventory, I feel pretty wiped out: no kids, no house, no money, no wife, moved away from friends and family. When I was in the house I had a life - I rode my bike all the time, 4-5 times a week. I went out with the kids to various places. I worked around the house.

Now, I don't ride the bike, I don't go out much, etc. I wouldn't want to marry me either, in this state. I know I need to get a life, but I really don't feel like it, most days.

On days when I see my kids, I have a blast. Other days it's like I'm in a holding pattern. I miss my old life. It all evaporated so fast.