So I haven't responded yet. However, I'm going to take something of the approach that you've suggested (i'd had it in mind anyway but your post did give me a couple of ideas).
As for my questioning the small-talk with W: The reason I question it is because of where she and I stand at this point. She's still "I definately want to divorce you because you were an emotionally abusive, controlling, and disrespectful husband... but, hey, let's do this polite small-talk interaction stuff while I completely dismiss your wishes and opinions."
She has also to a large degree amplified just how much of a jerk I was. But still smiles and talk to me. I don't freaking get it.
