Karen,

Talk to your attorney, but basically you have to think of it as three separate (but related) things:

Divorce itself
Alimony/Support
Custody

What your H was told is true only as it relates to the first.

Be sure to ask your attorney "What things do I need to be doing -- and what things do I need to AVOID doing -- over the coming weeks and months?"

And then follow his/her advice.