If forcing the two of you to deal with your issues "forces her away," then that's her decision. Don't regret your pushing!
Put it this way: wouldn't you regret it later, if your marriage ends up in divorce, if you DIDN'T do everything possible to deal with your issues, and if you didn't specifically push your wife to?
I don't know your sitch, but it sounds like she's been moved -- at least temporarily -- from "our marriage isn't worth saving" to "confused/I need to think about it."
