Well, probably took a huge step towards D yesterday. But it will all be her choice.
WAW had agreed to go to a counselor that was highly recommended to me. He was great - extremely solution focused and capable of moving the atmosphere and convo from intense to humorous to emotional, drawing out all our feelings.
All WAW's complaints were things I knew and have been working on. She also acknowledged her faults and counselor led her to see other things she was doing and would carry with her to her next R if she didn't deal with them. But when A came up, it was clear she had shut her mind to my changes, had decided our M wasn't worth saving, and wanted to try things with OM even though she already has her doubts about him. She keeps saying she has her doubts whether she's making the right choice, but won't put any energy into our R.
What was frustrating to me was all her complaints are very changeable - things like doing more together and helping more around the house. But she's put a spin on it that I'm a hopeless person.
I know she felt very threatened having to confront the feelings that she's been running from, though. And I'm sure she felt very uncomfortable with the counselor offering specific steps on working on M, since she says she's open to it but won't do anything.
So, afterwards I asked her opinion and she said she was confused and needed time to process. I said I was confused too, but I was going to fight for the M. I'm afraid this probably drove her farther away and I'll almost guarantee she won't go back, but at least a lot of stuff is out in the open. Don't know what I should do next - wait and see I guess. If she says she's filing, then I'll pull completely back.
