But really if he files for divorce, I plan to go along with what my divorce attorney thinks is best for the kids and I rather than his advice actually, so he may be in for a major shock!
Here's some general advice about D and lawyers.
Always protect your children's emotional and financial interests.
This means avoid a confrontational, nasty divorce, if at all possible. Sometimes divorce lawyers want to be litigious, since it increases their billing hours and costs a fortune. You lawyer needs to be fighting for your interests -- mostly to protect you, but, if you wish, to AVOID a divorce. Don't let her set the tone. She works for you.
Let her know the situation. Let her know you want to avoid the divorce if at all possible. Tell her everything that's happening. Get information to protect your interests.
Ask questions like:
1. Does adultery have any bearing on custody or settlement? 2. Is all the time he's spending away from home and with OW consitiute neglect of children? It might help your case with custody. By the way...keep records of all his comings and goings. 3. Is you state no-fault or does your husband need grounds to divorce you? What wold be those grounds?
In general it's best to have a mediator stand between you both, and have your lawyers double-check the agreements. It makes it less litigious.
Karen...hun...you'll be fine.
You are showing strength, which is very attractive.
