Well I finely did it. I made the last two reservations for my “vacation”. I had a sick feeling in my stomach when I was doing this….like I so wish W was coming with me. But then this other feeling started to show its ugly head. When I was looking at the pictures of the hotel room I stated seeing visions of W and OM. Planning there meet…I am really nerves about this…..What am I doing???? I am sorry but I can’t confront W now… not before I go… I hope you all are around because I made sure the rooms have internet and I will really need your support… I have been a “WE” for sooo long……. Why ……….Don’t know if I posted this but W got notice that her unemployment has run out….. This is not going to do our situation any good. …. This is why today I made the reservations… I have money saved (X mas gift cards)…..So nothing besides gas (for my jeep). Can stop me…….Don’t be mad at me but sometimes I wish I could be like the OM and just say FU@K it and find someone to go with me…… On the way home from work a rock hit my windshield and broke it….. $100.00 deductible but that’s ok. Boy are new windshields clear……..I need to talk to wife……. I need to tell her things are NOT ok…… But son is always around…. I don’t want to start anything around him……. This is why I think talking when I am on vacation will be better…… My plan is to call when I get to my first stop. And then go dark for the next two days…. I have my son’s e-mail so I will still E mail him EVERY NIGHT………. People at work are wondering why I am going by myself….. I think they have seen me on this board……Ok I need to go…… W is over MIL house and I suggested to see she wanted Pizza… well wife just called and want me to pick one up and go over there…. I will be back soon
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Dr. L, I think postponing "the talk" until you get back from your vacation is probably best for you. You need to go and get away from all of your thoughts. If you go after you have "the talk" then you will dwell on it and not enjoy yourself. Go and have a great time. Remember, showgirls, showgirls, showgirls, and then more showgirls...
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
This is what I was thinking.... I know we always think the worst and if she did tell me it was over then it would be a real drag on my adventure......
Today I am going over MIL's and work on her yard.... I am bringing a nice chair and see if I can get MIL to come outside for a while... She just sits in her chair in the living room and watches TV all day.... It is supposed to be nice here today and then start getting colder again........Wife loves her "roomba" that I got her... Well she took the one I got back and upgraded but I still kind of got it for her.....did ya see something hit the window of my Jeep??? They are coming out on Wed. to replace it....... I will try to e-mail ya later...
Bye Dr. Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
You escaped from the chains I locked you in.....and I was SO looking forward to coming back and finding you still there and releasing you myself.............
Oh Well!!!
Got your email and will reply later. Still buried under tjhose annoying tax returns!!!!!!! But I am starting to win!!!!
Hope you are having a good day.
And Yoyo - Yeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
We'll be fighting in the streets With our children at our feet And the morals that they worship will be gone And the men who spurred us on Sit in judgement of all wrong They decide and the shotgun sings the song
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday Then I'll get on my knees and pray We don't get fooled again
The change, it had to come We knew it all along We were liberated from the foe, that' all And the world looks just the same And history ain't changed 'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday Then I'll get on my knees and pray We don't get fooled again No, no!
I'll move myself and my family aside If we happen to be left half alive I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky For I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
There's nothing in the street Looks any different to me And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye And the parting on the left Is now the parting on the right And the beards have all grown longer overnight
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday Then I'll get on my knees and pray We don't get fooled again Don't get fooled again No, no!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Meet the new boss Same as the old boss
I know most think this is a political song But I like to look at it as a change in my LIFE.... I know it had to come..... I hope I don’t get fooled again.........
Laugh,, Love and smile.....
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Was listening to music in garage while working on car….. Good song came on and inspire red me…. Came into house and played song on my computer while posting on DB web site…. W came into room and said she was getting blasted my music from both sides…. Normally I would apologize and turn music down, Instead I said “oh well deal with it”…… I think my balls are growing back….I was a little shocked I said that but it felt good. I got MIL to come out side today for a little while… She has not left the house (except when she went to the Hospital) for the last 2 months….. She got excited and had to call my son to say she was sitting on her front porch... I promised her I would bring her to the patio on Sunday for a little while…. Wife went over to take stuff to her mom…. When W got home she told me that MIL was really excited about going to the patio tomorrow… W made nice dinner and for some unknown reason sat at the kit ion table with me tonight…..On her own……I guess hell must be getting cold …. It may soon freeze over……. I washed W van today…. First time it has been washed in 3 months…… I slipped and asked W if she noticed anything about the Van... (Yes I did it for myself but I admit I was fishing for a thank you). Wife said NOO she did not notice anything… Oh well I guess I am off the hook for another3 months washing the van….. No thank you no washy……. Everything is set for my vacation in February…….. I am a little scared….. I have NEVER taken a vacation by myself…… Meeting with a girl I went to high school with on Saturday…… she wants to plan a 50 year reunion….. NO I DID NOT GRADUATE %) YEARS AGO……. But everyone that I graduated with will turn 50 this year…… Remember 50 is the new 40……..
Yesterday was Fantastic..... I actually enjoyed being around W. she had a really upbeat attitude...... At one point she even brought up that if her Dad was alive today it would have been her mom’s and dads Wedding anniversary.....( Why is she thinkingabout being marrried?) Anyway I did spend most of the day in me garage working on my Jeep but EVERY encounter with W was great..... She has been very talkative today.... If I let it I would almost be suspicious that something was up.....But I let it go
My Reading for today......
Pisces February 19 - March 20 Have you two been wishing you'd done things differently? Well, stop it. It's time to look at everything you've been doing right. Anything that didn't go right in the past has led you here, so how bad was it in actuality?
The other day when I had a theme song for the day it seemed to work so well I am going to play this one..
Friday night I crashed your party Saturday I said I'm sorry Sunday came and trashed me out again I was only having fun Wasn't hurting anyone And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change I've been stranded in the combat zone I walked through Bedford Stuy alone Even rode my motorcycle in the rain And you told me not to drive But I made it home alive So you said that only proves that I'm insane You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for Turn out the light Don't try to save me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right
Remember how I found you there Alone in your electric chair I told you dirty jokes until you smiled You were lonely for a man I said take me as I am 'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile Now think of all the years you tried to Find someone to satisfy you I might be as crazy as you say If I'm crazy then it's true That it's all because of you And you wouldn't want me any other way You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for It's too late to fight It's too late to change me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for Turn out the light Don't try to save me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right You may be wrong but you may be right You may be wrong but you may be right
Virgo August 23 - September 22 Self-reliant types like you feel that the only acceptable way to deal with a problem is to do it on your own. However, that's just not true. Aid is well within your reach, so ask your significant other for input. Leo July 23 - August 22 You can indirectly get some great advice on relationships from your family. Just sit down and observe what goes on with them to see how you do or don't want to repeat the same patterns with your mate. Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Your instincts tell you it's important to move at your own pace and nobody else's. Fortunately, your lover is more than understanding and aids this change of gears. Move as quickly or slowly as you need to.
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
DR LOVE Show me where it hurts.........
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Like Mcc I find that the more “power” I take away from my W over my feelings the more dominate I become in our sitch, Now I am talking without having the final R talk but I feel I am building a foundation that I need to stand on. We all have come sooo Far... From the sobbing begging pathetic spouse asking for another chance to letting them ask for another chance. I am sad for those of us that D seems inevitable but.... Even after D does not mean that it is the end. It will be the start of a new life. A life without our spouse that is more to our likening, with all of the things we have learned or a life back with our spouse that is better than ever before.......
So I think I may have forgotten to mention last night we had dinner as a family at the kit ion table.... Wife idea........ This is a major step this is the second day in a row... before it has been ...son in front of computer... Wife in living room and me at the table by myself...... Wife has been very talkative..... We have had a full moon so I don’t know if that had anything to do with it. If this all does not makes sense I apologize. I just got back from MIL house I had to fix her furnace...then as always I had a couple shots of J.D there MIL insisted.... So I am feeling no pain right now... OMG.... See Mcc I told ya ... W just came up to me and gave me a piece of cheese that she wanted me to taste ... she’s using it in dinner tonight.........It nice to be king..........Mark buddy I soon hope to be giving you the crown of longest married man with no sex............Ok everyone 26 more days till VEGAS........................
Everyone hang on ...... things will get better..... With or without our spouses
They call me........
Dr. Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Ok some more journaling (I feel like I am talking to myself).
Things have been on an even keel for a while now... I am reclaiming my man hood...I realize now that sometimes being the mister nice guy can make you seem wimpy. I don’t mean becoming a @ hole... But ... Not always settling for just what you get... Sometimes you need to demand what you want...I think Mcc know what I mean....So my reading for today is going to be interesting...
Pisces February 19 - March 20 Whatever you have been contemplating is something you have got to stop contemplating. Today, you should finally get out there and just do it! Your stalling tactics are wearing thin, and there is no point in putting things off any longer. What are you afraid of? Rejection? Success!? Be proactive today -- and see for yourself that whatever you are afraid of is really not that frightening after all. Once you dive in, you'll see how fun and easy it really is.
Ok now if this is not inspiring ring I don’t know what is...stay tuned .. I will be leaving work early today because I am getting my windshield fixed (guy is coming to my house). Sooooo I will be with W all afternoon... Without son around.. get the picture???....... NO there will not be any R talk ...but..I may try to "jump" start the R ..I mean the stars say It " What are you afraid of? Rejection? Success!..............
Virgo August 23 - September 22Modesty does not look as good on you as you might think, so what's with the 'aw shucks' attitude? Your latest achievement deserves a lot more attention than it is getting, so find a way to drum up some press coverage today. No one is going to sing your praises right now except you, so if you want to get the credit you deserve, you should spread the word. Don't worry about people thinking you're boasting -- they'd be boasting too if they did what you did!
NikB..... Maybe a belli dancing video??????????????? Oh ya baby that's what I'm talking about.....
Leo July 23 - August 22 A generous person you know is being a little bit less so lately, so don't rely on them like you usually do to toss in extra money. They are feeling much more thrifty and conservative than usual, and it could put a crimp into your relationship. They have a chip on their shoulder about their financial situation, and could be tossing a lot of guilt your way. Put yourself in their place and remind yourself that it's not easy to hold on to money. Work with them and cut them some slack.
Saffie.... Sounds like you are spending toooooo much time on taxes... Spend a little more time with me lady.. Relax ..what is mine is yours....
Aquarius January 20 - February 18 This morning should be fairly quiet and calm, which will lead you to have a much more grounded day than you've had in a long while. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to catch up on doing chores, running errands, or taking care of other types of easily-overlooked projects. Think of it as life keeping, as opposed to housekeeping. You will get a chance to rearrange a few things in your life and make your immediate surroundings a lot more pleasant.
Yoyo...Happy birthday to you / Happy birthday to you / Happy birthday to Yoyo... Happy birthday to you !!!!!
