BUT-- 1)I can live with him moving out to an apartment 2)I can live with him moving to Omaha and me staying here 3)I can live with him going out w/a buddy to blow off steam 4)I CANNOT live with him supposedly living in our home but staying out all night. It is too stressful for me bc even though I am not supposed to worry, I do. If he were in the apartment I wouldn't know the difference, which would actually be easier.
I can relate with #4. When my W was still living with me, I could not sleep until she got home. I was so worried that she might be drunk and get into an accident.
Here is something Pudmuddle Snafu posted about her H:
Quote:
The last time my H spent all NIGHT out and came home the next morning, he came to find me where I was in the laundry room folding, and he stood there looking at me as if he expected a total vengeful attack, I simply hugged him and said "I'm glad you are home safe". That was all I said and went back to folding laundry. I do believe this shocked the heck out of him. I didn't cry or anything but that just let him know I still cared without pressuring him to know what he was doing. I didn't need to know, he thought he had his life in place at the time and was going to do what he was going to do, with or without me. I couldn't control that.
But I was shaking like a leaf after that, took all I had to remain calm and positive.
You are going to have to detach and let go of him for a while as it seems like he is causing you so much grief now. Have you ever read the following:
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective. It's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
