Kimmie, I live a bit north of Seattle, too, and can understand your fear and frustration at the "no-fault" divorce. When my H and I separated, there was an unbelievable amount of rancor. He absolutely refused to talk to me or see me. Our only communication was via e-mail, and let me tell you, they were not loving, to say the least. I was SURE we would be divorced in 91 days. We had no child custody issues, and our assets were always separate. So, there were no issues to deal with to complicate the divorce.
But even that little amount of time can work wonders. I can't say that we are doing well with our marriage. We're not. As a matter of fact, I have had to go dark again, after seeing him warm a little. But the point is, we have been apart for 8 months now, he did warm a little, and we are still not divorced.
Use your 90 days wisely. - Get a good counselor, who is truly pro-marriage. - Quit blaming others for the failure of your marriage. Everyone in your family played a part- even you. Look at your contribution. As the LBS, it is sometimes easy to play the "victim", but in reality, if we had changed ONE action, reaction or attitude... where would we be today? It's a question we can't answer, because it is not the road we took. But we can look at the road we took, see where it got us, and decide to change our course from here on out. - GAL. Do something new. Something good for yourself. Commit to a walk everyday (okay, that's a joke... look where we live!). But do something new that you didn't do while you were living with H. - And do something kind for someone else. Without expectation of reward.
When 90 days have elapsed, you will be a better, happier person. Whether you are D or not.
